I've been keeping y'all updated about what I've been doing, so now I'm going to update you on how I'm doing.
In a word; I'm homesick.
People keep telling me how jealous they are of me. I'm in Europe! The most romantic continent in the world with arguably the richest history, and I wish I were back in Texas. This is a new feeling for me. I have been all over the world and spent four months in Peru and I have never been homesick. Even when things got hard in Peru I never wished to be somewhere else. The last time I can remember being homesick was at age nine when I went to church camp for the first time. That was some years ago.
When I was younger I gloried in being a wanderer and a traveler. Each new place I went I drank in the culture and imagined living in the place forever. Most of the countries I traveled to were developing countries which afforded less comforts than I could find in the U.S. yet there I put down roots quickly and easily. Here I feel homeless and foundationless. The beauty I see feels empty. I've realized that the value of a place is not measured by it's beauty but by the people it contains. A place becomes so much more beautiful and valuable if someone you love inhabits it.
I honestly do not know why it is harder for me to be here than any other place I have been. I have wondered if it is spiritual attack, but I think mostly it is the grace and mercy of God and his discipline. He has been beating the pride out of me since I got here and it is so much easier for Him to get my attention here than at home. If I felt wounded at home I could run to somewhere or someone to find comfort and justification for my feelings of being injured. Here noone and nothing is comforting. I have only Him to turn to, so while it has been difficult for me to be here it has also been so sweet to be so close and intimate with my Lord.
So, I miss you guys, and I miss Texas yet at the same time the best part about Switzerland is not the Alps, the chocolate or the cheese, but its distance from you. A forced solitude that has brought me pain temporally, yet eternal joy.
LOVE YOU.
ReplyDeleteI am crying my eyes out. I am "Lizziesick" but learning to find my way in my Lizzieless days. As with you it is painful but also good for me. I love you my precious princess...
ReplyDeleteI feel so much for you and your mom Lizzie. I want to root for your Texas rangers but you know I am a National league girl. If your Uncle Art was here with me we both would be rooting on for San Fran. Oh how we both love baseball. So this brings me to my point. Draw closs to your Lord. I miss my daddy too. I draw close to God every time every day when my tears fall for my daddy because I miss him so.. My daddy would say to you... this is a good learning experience for you Lizzie and I am so proud of you. So I would agree with what my daddy would of said. I feel for your mama as well as I love her so and miss her so much. Hoping that after I get settled and moved I can catch a plan in the summer and come to Texas. Will you be home by then? You take care. I will continue to pray for you and the whole family.
ReplyDeleteLove ya and sending Gods blessings and love to you.
Cousin CSue
Hey girl,
ReplyDeleteHere's what I can say as some one who is far away as well. Spend time in the word, ask the Dad to give you a love for what is there, to give you that feeling of home that he also gives to the sparrows. Ask for the tiniest things that will help make Switzerland feel like Texas, even if that is a guy in a cowboy hat taking a stroll down the road.
Remember that we are not with out a foundation, that the capstone the builders rejected has become our cornerstone.
Love you!