I've been keeping y'all updated about what I've been doing, so now I'm going to update you on how I'm doing.
In a word; I'm homesick.
People keep telling me how jealous they are of me. I'm in Europe! The most romantic continent in the world with arguably the richest history, and I wish I were back in Texas. This is a new feeling for me. I have been all over the world and spent four months in Peru and I have never been homesick. Even when things got hard in Peru I never wished to be somewhere else. The last time I can remember being homesick was at age nine when I went to church camp for the first time. That was some years ago.
When I was younger I gloried in being a wanderer and a traveler. Each new place I went I drank in the culture and imagined living in the place forever. Most of the countries I traveled to were developing countries which afforded less comforts than I could find in the U.S. yet there I put down roots quickly and easily. Here I feel homeless and foundationless. The beauty I see feels empty. I've realized that the value of a place is not measured by it's beauty but by the people it contains. A place becomes so much more beautiful and valuable if someone you love inhabits it.
I honestly do not know why it is harder for me to be here than any other place I have been. I have wondered if it is spiritual attack, but I think mostly it is the grace and mercy of God and his discipline. He has been beating the pride out of me since I got here and it is so much easier for Him to get my attention here than at home. If I felt wounded at home I could run to somewhere or someone to find comfort and justification for my feelings of being injured. Here noone and nothing is comforting. I have only Him to turn to, so while it has been difficult for me to be here it has also been so sweet to be so close and intimate with my Lord.
So, I miss you guys, and I miss Texas yet at the same time the best part about Switzerland is not the Alps, the chocolate or the cheese, but its distance from you. A forced solitude that has brought me pain temporally, yet eternal joy.